Losing Hope
by Wandering Dawn
Summary: What if Jared had never made it to the caves? What if Mel get there first? Two years on and it doesn't look like he's getting there. Will Mel settle for someone else?
1. Chapter 1

**AN;** so i decided on another jared/mel story, this time a twoshot cause i cba to finish it right now but i want your opinions on what i've already written :) sorry for any mistakes but please review :)

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><p>I watched as he ran his hands over the picture he kept under his pillow. I knew that picture well, he had taken it out of my families photo album. I had seen him repeat the same motion many a time. He would trace the outline of her face, her hair and then her lips. Despair was written all over his face. At least, it used to be. Now his face was a hard mask. Totally emotionless. It used to be filled with pain, guilt, depression. He used to talk about it, he used to tell me how guilty he felt. Well, not outright. But I could tell. Now he is just a hard empty shell of a man without her. Without my sister, Melanie Stryder. I knew how he felt though. She's my sister. We let her go off alone, and she was caught. Now she was dead. Well, she might as well be anyway. The souls would have killed her.<p>

I saw him sigh and put the picture back under his pillow. He then took out my photo album before tracing over the lines on the back of the album. He did this a lot too. Always trying to figure out the warped directions Uncle Jeb had left for us. It broke my heart to see him like this. He was always so good natured, laughing and joking with me and Mel, now he doesn't do anything. He's angry or completely emotionless. I hate when he's angry. He scares me sometimes. Not just because he's hitting the wall or muttering to himself, but he often takes it out on me. He doesn't hit me or anything but it does hurt when he shoves me away from him. I know why. I remind him too much of Mel. I look like her a lot, so it hurts him to be around me sometimes.

The album flew across the room at full speed as he threw it making a frustrated noise. I sighed knowing how angry he was that he couldn't find out what it meant. Mel had disappeared two years ago, and he was still finding it difficult to function like he used to. Walking over to pick it up I knelt down and saw the picture of my grandparents at their ranch at Picacho Peak. I stared at it for a moment looking at the familiar curve of the mountain behind the ranch. I flipped the book to the back and stared at the first of the lines Jeb had carved there. Then I looked back at the old faded picture. I felt excitement rise in me as I made the connection.

"Jared, its here! The answer is in the damn book!" I took it over to him and showed him the picture then the line. I saw a flicker of happiness run across his face before he pulled me into his chest tightly. "You know we won't find Mel though right?" I was sixteen I wasn't naive. I felt him nod against me holding me tighter, a protective stance over me. I knew why he suddenly got protective. He had promised Mel that he would always look after me and take care of me. Lately, it was me taking care of him since he had completely shut down but at least I know that he still feels protective, should anything happen to us. I wished he'd talk to me though. He never talks anymore. Not unless he is muttering orders whilst we're raiding.

He moved away from me and turned on the portable stove we'd stolen from a soul's campsite a few months ago. I watched him silently open a tin of soup and tipping it into a pan. He then pushed it around with a spoon for a bit whilst it heated through. I sighed watching him. I had given up trying to get him to talk. Sometimes, though, I really wish he would. I feel lonely when he doesn't talk t me for days on end. I take the soup he offers me and sit on the makeshift couch with him to eat it.

**Mel's POV**

The desert landscape was possibly the most boring thing ever to look at, but at least it gave me something to think about. Being on patrol was good for many reasons, it allowed me to think without being bothered, it allowed me those precious moments of alone time that you rarely get in the caves and it especially allows me the tiny bit of hope that Jared and Jamie would have finally figured out the puzzle. It gave me hope that I would be the first one they saw, the first one that would run up to them and wrap my arms around them. They wouldn't have gotten caught, they couldn't have been. It was _Jared _for heaven's sake. He would never allow them to be caught. He isn't as reckless as I was.

I smiled at Wanda as she came up to hand me a bottle of water. I had Wanda to thank for so much, for bringing me here, for trusting me, for gaining the trust of the family, for allowing me my body back, for showing me that life and love really does go on, human or soul. She truly was an inspiration, if not a little sickening whilst Ian was around.

"You're not getting upset again are you? Mel you know it's been two years. The likelihood of them coming is so small."

"But it's Jared and Jamie," I whispered, as I usually did when someone asked me this question. It's like it answered everything. Of course, it didn't it just felt like it did to me. I would never give up hope. Never. She sighed getting up just as I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. But they felt wrong. They were constantly there, but they felt wrong. There was no burn where our bare skin touched, no passion, no need. It isn't what it's like with Jared. Jared was special. I know I could never love anyone but him. But, at the same time, I had often gone to seek comfort from Aaron. I know I shouldn't have, but hugs and crying soon turned into meaningless sex. Something which he seems to have recently taken further than we agreed.

"Mel, why don't you let me take over? Or at least sit with you... we always have fun." I could hear the smirk in his voice as he nibbled on the bottom of my ear. I pushed him away, not in the mood to play his games. That seemed to anger him though. "For god's sake Mel. When are you going to realise that he's never coming here? Don't you get it? You're pining after a lost man who is most likely inhabited or dead! I love you for god's sake! Why can't you see that?"

I shivered at the thought of Jared being gone. Especially Jamie being gone. I don't know what I'd do if I knew I had lost both of them. After all, no news is good news right? It was better than him being captured by the group and me knowing he was a soul. He may have never woken up from that. Never. Tears sprang to my eyes as I realised the harsh truth of the situation. What if I never see him again? Aaron wasn't going to wait around forever. That much was clear. Could I really stand to be alone for years to come? Without the comfort of a warm body beside me? Even if I didn't love Aaron, he provided a nice distraction.

"Please, Mel. I won't make you regret it." I sighed nodding slightly. He scooped me up into his arms and held me close to him. Guilt washed over me. It felt like cheating. Like I was betraying Jared.

"C-can I just be alone for a bit?" He nodded walking off after whispering thoughts of love in my ear. I sighed, the guilt returning to my gut. I'm leading him on, and I know it. But I feel nothing bad about that. He knows that I'm hopelessly devoted to Jared. The question is, would Jared ever forgive me if he found out I had been sleeping with another man? I sighed letting my eyes scan the horizon again, just for that one little glimmer of hope. but, once again, it was totally clear.


	2. Chapter 2

Mel's POV

I was in the main cavern doing some gardening three days later when it happened. At first I didn't understand what was going on, then the frightened and frantic words reached my ears. Someone was here, someone was close to the mouth of the cave. They think it's seekers, that they've finally found us, but the wild thump thump thump of my heart in my ears is telling me to run, to see if it's them. We hadn't had human sightings in almost a year. What if it is them? What if they finally figured it out?

I felt Aaron slip his hand into mine, squeezing it lightly, telling me that he was there. But I didn't care. I had to see for myself. I had to know.

The next thing I knew I was running full sped towards the watch tunnel, the one that opens out on a ledge that was just perfect for a bird's eye view. When I get there I come to a halt at the edge, breathing in the fresh air wildly through my lungs, gasping out and turning my head this way and that in fear, elatedness, hope and despair. I don't know what I was thinking I would find but a vast expanse of nothingness was not it. Where were the people that had been around here? Where were these so called seekers? I was about to go inside when a movement in my peripheral vision stopped me dead in my tracks. It was too fast to be a person on foot, too large to be someone surviving on only water and minimal food. My heart thumped wildly against my chest as I realised what it was... or rather... who it was.

Jared. In his truck. Going full pelt towards the entrance of the caves. Towards the place where we kept the other cars. He must have thought it was a good place for shelter. I can understand why they thought they were in trouble. But.. it's JARED! He finally figured it out. I felt the smile creep onto my face, feeling so elated and happy that he was here. Instantly I turned back and run down the pitch black tunnel, crashing straight into someone. I groaned as they fell on top of me, my hands against their chest in a position I knew only too well with the person I also knew too well.

"It's him isn't it?" Aaron asked, his breath warm against my face and a slight sadness filling his voice. I nodded, unable to deliver the deathblow with words. Aaron knew what this meant; I had told him from day one that if Jared ever comes back what we had going on was over and it was to stay a secret from Jared. "I'm not ready to let you go," he whispered as if reading into my thoughts. I pushed him off me so that I could get up and move away from him before he could do something stupid.

"Aaron, you know what this means. You promised me you'd adhere to our agreement. It was the only term I put to this little...fling." I saw him wince in what little light we had and instantly felt bad. I knew he had grown feelings for me, he even told me so a few days ago... but how could he not honour our agreement at the most crucial time? Tough love was the only way I was going to get through to him. I began to walk away when I felt him grab my elbow slightly roughly.

"I'll fight for you. I won't let you go without a fight."

I sighed shaking my head slightly. "Don't bother, Aaron. You'll only be fighting a losing battle. It's Jared. He's it for me. He always has been and he always will be. I love him. And I just got him back. Don't hurt yourself more."

"What if he isn't back? What if he's one of them?" Aaron challenged.

I rounded on him, instantly furious. "Like I was you mean? Do you remember what happened to me? I was one of them, and now look, she lives with us because I got myself back and got her a new body."

"The only reason she lives in that body is because the inhabitant couldn't come back. What if Jared can't come back?" The words stung me hard, bringing tears to my eyes instantly. I shook my head, unable to think about the possibility that I had lost him forever. Jared is a fighter, a survivor. He wasn't gone. He wouldn't leave me like that. I knew he wouldn't. So instead of dignifying Aaron with an answer I just took off running once more, towards the centre of the cave, towards where I knew they would be gathering a rescue party.

Jared's POV;

I sped the truck towards an overhang in the rock wall knowing that it would be a good place to shield us from dun until night fell again, it was dangerous being out in the desert heat during the day, especially if the centipedes sent a random helicopter over the top, looking for more stray souls. I could feel Jamie bouncing in his seat excitedly beside me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that we may not even find anything there. We had been travelling around for the past two days in the desert and still not found anything. My patience and our water supplies were quickly dwindling. We either needed to get out of the desert or find this stupid concealed place.

Once we got to the overhang in the wall, however, I was greeted by something that made my blood run a little cold. Not only were there cars already parked in the small overhang, but they all looked like seeker vehicles, white vans to conceal masses of them, all waiting to run out of their back doors to capture you, hunt you down and take you for insertion. I knew Jamie saw too because he instantly stiffened up.

"Y-you don't think they already found them do you? That they set up a trap here?" The tremors in his voice almost broke me out of my calculative silence. Almost. After all, the boy was used to my silence now after the past year. I decided to get out of the truck, locking Jamie in it just in case I slowly walked towards the vehicles before my ears picked up a small couch off to my left, causing me to pivot on the spot, staring straight at the intruder stood there. He was an old man with a grey beard and thinning hair, but I would recognise him anywhere from the pictures in Mel's album. Uncle Jeb.

I stared at him for a few moments and he stared back with an amused look on his face. "Now, now lad, no need to at like you're going to pounce. We both know the only reason you're out here was to find the rest of us humans." I shifted a little, becoming instantly suspicious of the old man. How would he know that was why I was here? He pointed towards the truck. "I see you got my nephew with you. Didn't happen to see my niece aswell did you? I know she wouldn't leave the boy for anything."

Instantly my face fell from its hardened mask into a depressed look before I carefully composed myself again. Jeb seemed to have noticed though. He nodded his consent at me before patting me on the shoulder gently.

"How's about we get the boy out of the truck and take you inside? You can park it up right next to the far van. It should stay concealed in there nicely." I nodded numbly before doing as he said, parking the truck before getting both myself and Jamie out through the trunk due to little room to move the doors. Patting my shoulder again Jeb led the way to the mouth of the cave? Jamie had been talking excitedly to Jeb the whole way, happy to be around family again, but I just tuned them out. All I could think is that we made it to safety, and Mel didn't. She should have been here with us, she should have been safe too. I completely failed her.

"Now, there is something you two need to know before you go in... and unless you agree to this term, you won't be living in my house... my rules." I nodded finally coming back into focus with the conversation. "We have one of the alien's living amongst us in the caves... now, before you say or do anything you might...regret," he says tapping his rifel as soon as I feel my face become a contortion of that ti really is. They have one here? One of those things that too my Mel away from me? One of those evil things? "You must know that she is incredibly harmless and that she hates her own kind... in fact, I do believe she tried to commit suicide because she didn't want to be one of those things anymore. Of course, when you have someone in love with you though, things don't always go to plan," he continued as if it were all some amusing tale. "Now," he says completely serious again. "Unless you accept Wanda and live in peace with her as she is with us you will not be able to enter. She is a great asset to us and she would never ever bring any harm to us. Do you understand?"

I automatically nodded my head even though my heart was being wrenched into even tinier pieces than it already was. I had to live in peace with something from the same species that ripped my whole world from me, twice? How would I ever be able to do that?

Jeb smiled softly before patting us both on the shoulders again. "Good, now we can go in and you can see just how many of us there are." There was something about the man's smile that I didn't completely trust, but I had to trust him because he had been honest and upfront with me from the beginning. After a few moments of walking in th pitch black I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Jamie was clutching my hand furiously. I could tell from the moisture on it that he was scared and excited but nervous all at the same time. After all, we were about to go into a place far away from anyone and where we could easily be killed.

Once out of the dark tunnel I had to shield my eyes from the onslaught of sudden light. It was far too bright to be underground surely. But looking around the vast space I saw that we were in fact underground and the ceiling was so high we were clearly quite a way under the surface of the rock. Standing around there was a large crowd of people staring at us in awe. I shifted slightly feeling uncomfortable under their scrutiny. There must have been around 30 of them... definitely outnumbering the two of us. Jeb patted my back again in hard jovial thumps.

"It's alright, Folks, they're human." It was suddenly like a switch had gone off in the caves, everyone started talking happily, coming up to both me and Jamie to shake hands with us and congratulate us on making it all the way out here. I tried my best to smile slightly, I knew they meant well, but they had no idea what we had lost to make it to safety. If this was in fact safety.

"Mel?" I snapped my head in Jamie's direction as the word fell from his mouth disbelievingly. I slowly followed his eyeline to a brunette stood in the middle of the crowd. Slowly the crowd parted to show her fully to us.

My heart stopped.

She was here.

She hadn't died.

She wasn't one of them.

She was really really here.

I felt tears pricking my eyes as I watched Jamie run towards her and fling his arms around her, holding her tightly to him. "Hey, Jim-Jam." She said with a bright smile on her face, tears falling from her eyes. I didn't know what to do. Would she even be happy to see me anymore? This was the moment I had been dreaming about for almost two years, the moment we would see each other again and I just stood there, frozen to my spot. I didn't know how she would react to me, I didn't know how I should react to her. I knew there were tears running down my face, but I didn't know how to stop them. For the first time in almost a year I was allowing myself to feel what I needed to feel. And right now, I needed to feel Mel in my arms again, to make sure she was really there, to make sure this isn't some kind of sick twisted dream my mind has conjured up.

I stood there, completely still as she pulled away from Jamie and looked right at me. Right in the eye. The joy on her face was unmistakable. She still loved me, she was happy I was here. And then she was running towards me. I couldn't think, I couldn't fathom what this meant, all I could feel was Mel's body slamming against mine, her arms around my neck and mine around her waist, lifting her off her feet and kissing her cheek, crying out in pure happiness. She was here, I was here. We made it to safety.

"All right, back to work you lot, there's nothing to see here!" I heard Jeb call somewhere in the back of my mind.

I set her back down on the ground pulling back slightly to see her face. Her smile sent a jolt of pleasure straight through me. I reached up to cup her cheek tenderly, wiping the tears off her cheeks. I couldn't help myself, I just wanted to make sure she was really there. "I thought I had lost you forever," I whispered, unable to take my eyes from hers.

"You'd never get rid of me that easily, Howe." I laughed softly pulling her towards me and kissing her passionately square on the mouth. Pulling back a fraction I pulled her towards me again and held her tightly in my arms. "I love you so so much."

"I love you too, Jared," she whispered back in my ear holding on for dear life. "I will never leave you again."

I smiled. "You better not, Stryder."

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><p><em><strong>AN; well there you have it, so sorry it took me so long to finish it, there will not be a sequel or aother chapter as i think this is a good place to leave it. please review :) i hope you enjoyed it<strong>_


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